After 23 Years ...

After 23 years, I decided to write about my perspective in music, especially the essence of music during Holy Mass. Before this, I was afraid to talk about it since some people might get offended to things I would like to share deep down in my heart. And for that, I kept it closed until this day.

It's Time to Write ...

What makes me want to write? First, I've seen a few videos on Youtube about copywriting and how to be a good writer. It mentions that you have to write in order to start. Write about things that you are passionate about and things that you would like to talk about or have some experience whatsoever in that particular topic. Writing takes practice. As you write more topic, you'll realize certain patterns, of what people like and people dislike. From there, you'll get better.

Personally, I don't like to write but as Mazelan Abas, a business mentor of mine said, "Most successful persons out there are doing things that they themselves or other people don't like, and that's why they became successful." What about you? Do you agree with that?

So, back to music in Holy Mass.

Before that, I'd like to share you a bit of my experience as a servant of God back in 1997.

How I Become A Catholic and Involved in Music ...

Me (left), Jeremiah, the oldest (middle)
and Christopher, the youngest (right) at Jeremiah's
wedding day in St. Aloysius Church, Limbanak, Penampang

Truthfully, I wasn't born a Catholic. I was a free-thinker (or pagan as the locals says). My late dad was a not-so devout Buddhist and my mom was a devout Catholic. I still remember when we were little, mom usually brought us to church back in Beaufort. But, it stops after a few weeks and I don't know the reasons at that time. Then, when my late dad got transferred to Kudat, we all moved in to the hospital staffs' quarters and stayed there for 5 years before my late dad and mum decided to buy a house in Kudat in Taman Ehsan. I remembered at 1996, mum brought us (my older brother and I) secretly to attend Christmas Day mass. The mass was celebrated in Chinese and I could hardly understand (although I have a basic Chinese primary school education in Beaufort) what is being said. But, what I felt the most is the music being played. The organist played the tune so beautifully as I was being "transported" into a snowy scenery where baby Jesus is laid. From that moment, I dreamed of becoming a church musician one day.

The next year, mum enrolled all of us (me, my older brother and younger brother) to RCIA and RCIC classes and all of us "graduated" in 11th April 1998. At that time, I was already serving the church as an altar server. Then, my group of friends who are also Catholic and living in the hospital staffs' quarters invited me to their weekly choir practice. There, I got exposed to choir and music, and since that day, I actively involved in both choir and music for the church.

Healing Music for Holy Mass ...

During my younger days in mid to late 20's, I always love the groovy sound of music. So, basically at that time, I always have the idea to implement jazzy sounds to holy Mass (which is in my opinion is not that suitable at all). Only in recent years, when my wife always listen calming music for her insomnia, I was exposed yet to another play style that I would never thought about. Healing music.

Me (right) and my fellow musician during
Archdiocese of Kota Kinabalu Teachers' Day Mass June last year

The first time I tried playing that style during Holy Mass, I felt the most wondrous experience in my whole music and choir service! Why? The soft sound of my guitar plucks accompanying the hymn enable the voices of the congregation to break through the music like a ray of light breaking through the thick clouds in the sky, as if angels were accompanying the singing. Then, I realized. Coming down to Gloria, my eyes began to shed tears to the music I played. It is very, very difficult to play and sing when being consumed by this feeling, the feeling of awe of the wonders of God, the feeling of touching the hearts of people during Mass. It felt so enlightened and so calm. As I glanced through the congregation, some are seen wiping tears from their eyes as they can feel what I felt. Indeed, it is the most enlighten experience I ever come across.

How do I realize this? I really don't have a clue, but I know that people come to Mass are in need of "healing". Soul healing to be precise, whether they faced difficult times and asking God for a favor, or maybe simply going just to say thanks to the Lord. But, for whatever reasons, music heals.

From there, I try my best to provide a "healing music" to the congregation. A healing music sparks the heart from inside and to be lifted up, automatically giving praise to God. A healing music touches the hardened heart of those who are in doubt during Mass and in return, giving them voice to be heard. A healing music heals the soul with the help of the Almighty Lord.

From that day onward, I know that this is what people needs. Healing. When the world around you has so much things that grieves you, you need a sanctum that lets you heal so that you are strong enough to face the outside world of many uncertainties, day in and day out. Others might think differently but they are free to do so because God himself gives us choices, whether to follow Him or deny Him and He accepts it accordingly without prejudice nor hate.

If you like to hear my healing music, do comment below.

Have a blessed weekend. Amen